The Weird N Gay Story thats kinda creepy
by JP3
Summary: This story is weird. Very weird. We co-wrote it as a game, u know, a setence each using a word from the dictionary. b scared.


The FREAKY STORY THAT'S GAY N WEIRD

By JP and SezZie

Draco: oi mudblood weres your precoius _harry_

Hermione: and why would you want to know? *snaps*

Draco:stupid cow

Hermione: you're the one that came up to me! and harry isn't my precious anything!

Draco:well i was just finding out so i could tease him cmon crabbe goyle

Hermione: where are you going *demanding voice* *malfoy turns around and raises an eyebrow and puts one hand on hip and just looks very cute in general*

Draco:why should _you _want to know out of all mudbloods

Hermione: because you're up to something. what are you going to do to harry?

Draco:well being my indepentent self i shall find him and savotage what ever i can get my hands on to do with him ofcourse

Hermione: well as his best friend i shall filter his visitors. besides he happens to be in our common room where you cant go, bvecause how are you supposed to know that our password is leonis immortalis. woops did i just say that?

Draco:you his best friend i dare that he would even think of you as a friend stupid mudblood oh and by the way he doesnt even like you as a girlfriend he fancies cho chang the kamono wearer MUAHAHAHA

Hermione: well i dont think of him as my boyfriend! i enshrine somebody else! *cheeks turn pink*

Draco:oooh well i see some kind of isopmetric triangle going on here

Hermione: but you said harry doesnt like me he likes that chinese zulu chong what evere her namer is besides i bet it makes you happy to be in the middle of that triangle! woops did i just say _that?_

Draco:oh gettin a bit jealous of_ irisistable harry _*flutters eyelashes*

Hermione: OMG. I mean its great you didnt get what i meant and all but you have to be pretty thick not to have worked out from that that juxtaposed refernce i made to you before meant that i liked you but.............oh man i did it again i shouldnt have said that

Draco:oh well in that case i quite fancy your faboules legs*says in a flitatiously dangerous voice*

Hermione: O___O *eyes fall out of head* 

Draco: boom boom *draco pops them back in her head*

Hermione: well lets go to moaning mirtles bathroom and press the buttons in the right spot huh

Draco: huh? huh? get what we mean here? *wiggles eyebrows suggestively* i mean, like totally babe. lets elope to the bathroom!

in the bathroom

Hermione:oooh malfoy oh yeah baby dont stop oooh i know there is somthing wrong about this oh year cant let the bannanaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa okay we must stop[ and make up some contraseptive drugs befor e something bad happens oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo baby no more virgin for me 

Draco: what do you mean.........oooooooooooooooh oh yeah, yeah...........ooooh what do you mean bad? like? iooooooooooooooh yeah you know how i likwe it........... i meran what could possibly happen, periwinklwe? i meon..........ohohohohoo oh..............imean what coul;d haapen?

Hermione:well what would youmdo if i fell pregnant during our lovely intercourse

Draco: ooooooooooooooooh well.......id be a..ooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooo..........father, wouldt i? oooooooooooooo oh yeah.................we........................o o o o o o o o oh yeah O____O why'd you stop? *silence* didn't you come yet?

Hermione: no

Draco: arent i turning you on? man, you belong in a hospus

Hermione: *frozen* *as in, CANT MOVE*

Draco: O___O

MOaning mirtle:what is going on here  oh isee can i join in

Hermione: NOW YOU CAN SEE WHY I FROZE DRACO YOU DOLT! A FREAKING _GHOSt_ WANTS TO JOIN IN NOW! YOU SHOULDA PLAYED DEAD WITH ME! HOSPUS, HONESTLY!

Draco:F*** this mythical bullsh*t sheneva leaves here any ways

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhh sexy baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy you know when you sorta go over me like that myrtle your coldness sorta warms my hardness if ya get what i9 mean *wiggles eyebrows*

Hermione: oooooooooooooooh yeah assasinate the member, draco *smirks* 

Myrtle: o__o she uses too many big words

Draco:hermione babewill you um will you go down on me

Hermione:no but um iguess theres always a first chance for everything*plunges down to the unknown aria*

Draco: man, im tied to the floor in a not so kinky way baby you're gettin me as hard as graphite i mean can you get any be - ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh O   O

                                                                                                                                        ~

Hermione: r u having an orgasm or do i have to_examine_ you furtherly

Draco: oh, baby...............im as good as gone i dont think i can handle this heat its as scrupulous as your sweet little handwriting

Hermione: you think my handwriting is sweet?

Draco: *blushes* ive been watching you *wiggles eyebrows*

Hermione:ohhhhhhhhhhh draco lets get married

Draco:ok

Hermione:but first lets do it a little more

Draco:ok

Hermione:ah hu ooooooooooooooo

harry:i thought id find you here but oph my god malfoy what are you making her do

Draco:oh im not doing anything potter we are in love

Hermione:yes and his dildo is huge and just what every girl needs to coplete her life

harry:ahh*faints*

Draco:o_o he fainted

Hermione: i had one of those but the wheels fell off

Draco: shuddup

Hermione: you know, draco, we can never be together

Draco: why not

Hermione: because you know that it is compulsory in all of these fanfictions that i have to follow that silly cliche and fall madly in love with harry, and forever hate your guts

Draco: yes, now you mention it. and i am stuck with being horribly mean to you. some times evn becoming a homo and running of with weasly! better than that other cliche........you nknow, me and ginny. but i'd rather you with weasly than with.........potter

two months later

Hermione: draco i thought id find you here i  need to tell you somethin

Draco:what

Hermione: im.......pregnant.

Draco: o__o

Hermione: well?

Draco:well what?

Hermione:well theres sumthin else

Draco: what

Hermione: well it's just that...............

Draco: well…

Hermione: its sorta not your kid

Draco: but how do you no that it isnt

Hermione: because we females KNOW these things ok besides its a magical world i did a spell OK. Its… its Snape's iligitimate lovechild

Draco:you you you slept with my my favourite teacher and worst of all he hates you how did this happen

Hermione: draco, severus is a poor disturbed soul that cant get laid ok leave him alone he was desperate

Draco:but do we have to tell him it is his kid i mean cant we pretend

Hermione:no i mean how hard is it to miss that NOSE of his and eww that slimy hiar... do you think he ever washes it?

Draco:well we could say that the nose is a defect and there must be a spell for that hair i mean we can improvise cant we

Hermione: draco i know your secret ok ive read books and seen the signs... we all know that you're INFERTILE

Draco:way to state the obvious and can you please keep this a secret if you dont work out im going for parvati parvill

Hermione:*sobs* you mean i never MEANT ANYTHING to you? *sobs*

Draco:no no thats is not what i meant i DO LOVE YOU I DO promise but its just that well...

Hermione: *sniff* what?

Draco:well umm i also fancie her but i mean ur the firast on my list that has to be a complement

Hermione:*looks angry* i can see whats going on! *nope, no penguin* YOU DON'T WANT ME ANY MORE BECAUSE IM PREGGIE SO YOU CANT **GET ANY** NOW! Boys only think abouyt that I shoulda known how could I be so stupid………..i cant belive youre doing this to me

Draco:but the one thing i want more than anything is your love and to be father of your baby.

Hermione:*looks at draco with love*oh draco this is a side of you i have never seen b4 I will pull a few strings and yes you will be father of my baby oh how will I tell harry and forgodsake im only in 5th year ohdear ohdear.

Spongebob squarepants: 0___0 What? Its a natural function *scree!*

Draco: Er, wrong show mate

SSP: wooooooops *runs off screaming, bangs head on sunset* ow

Hermione: what da

Draco: *gets scary look on face* Yu-gi-oh!

Harry: hermione wot r u and draco doing together in here al by your selves?

Draco: BABY IF U GIVE IT TO ME, I'LL GIVE IT TO U

Harry: Er no thanks mate ill pass

Hermione:it want directed to youi it was directed to me

Harry: oh nah 'mione I reckon ur BOYFRIEND is cracking onto me'

Hermione: harryimpregnantpleasedontgetmad

Draco: 0___0;;

Harry: 0___0;; er, one more time in english pleaz

Hermione: harry im *pregnant* and please DONT get MAD

Harry: mione u do realize this screws the whole best-friends-fall-in-love-cliché don't you

 Draco: SCREW THE CLICHE

Hermione: ditto

Harry: screw u, draco

Draco: would if i could

Harry: u do realise that makes you gay

Draco: if im gay then ur a drag queen

Harry: IF IM A DRAG QUEEN U R THE ELTON JOHN OF THE WIZARD WORLD

Random ppl: 0____0

Random person: what was that

*ppl some how appear where the 3 r even tho they were somewhere private but hey*

Hermione: i think draco and harry are only just coming to terms with their sexuality *smirks* i think they're coming out

Draco: damn u got me

Hermione: 0_____0

Draco:i was freakin joking u idiot everything is totally ruffuss okay he might b gay but that's not our buissness

Harry: Hermione I don't know what u girls do hey whatever floats your boat but us guys shower SEPERATELY

Draco: think if u say it loud enough it might come true huh we all know ur gay potter don't go into gay denial now ur already in wanker denial hey two could b baaaaaaaaaaaaaaad just altogether baaaaaaaaaaaaaddddddd

Hermione: umm will we b kicked out of skewl

Draco: 4 wot

Hermione: making me priggie and also 4 having sex on skewl grounds 

Draco: oh ok that's cool

Hermione: harry wanna come too we'll all get married and live together

Harry: ok

Random ppl: 0____0

*all three get expelled, go get married and live in a house with baby snape*

THE END


End file.
